When it’s about them, it’s about you…

Few quick announcements!

1. APPROACHING THE NATURAL T-SHIRTS ARE HERE! I’m very (probably ‘too’) excited about these darn shirts. 100% organic cotton! Order yours now!

2. My next FREE SPREECAST is  Saturday, July 5, 2014 at 11 am (Pacific). Spreecast is a live interactive video platform where anyone, anywhere (in the world!) can post questions live and I’ll answer them for everyone to hear! It’s a lot of fun…

3. Read my most recent MindBodyGreen.com article: “How to Turn Your Run into a Meditation” Throw me a ‘like’!

And now on to the blog post:

When it’s about them, it’s about you.

I wanted to write today about something that came up in a recent podcast on which I was interviewed. The host asked me what I suggest to clients who are frustrated that their spouses or other family members are not on board with what they (my clients) are doing, or even dead set against it. This comes up quite a bit in my practice and in e-mails I receive from my podcast listeners. My response is usually the same…make it more about you.

I understand this frustration, and still feel it myself. You start eating better, moving your body, paying more attention to your general well-being, and the quick response is to want to get those you love on board so they can feel as empowered and positive as you feel. Your inclination comes from good intentions, and again, I’ve felt it myself. I still feel the urge to jump in when I see friends and loved ones suffering mentally and physically from how they’re treating themselves. It’s especially difficult to keep my mouth shut when it comes to children…And yet….

In the years that I’ve been a practicing health coach, I have continued to work on myself to do just that: to keep my mouth shut. Instead I have worked to divert that energy to improving myself and to being as much of an example as possible. As Albert Schweitzer said: “Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.” I take great pains to reserve my advice and recommendations only for those who ask for it, namely my clients and my listeners who reach out to me.

Much like my weekly urgings in my podcast that people take steps to let go of the notion that diets or other quick-fixes can deliver to us what we are designed to seek (health and happiness), we also need to let go of the idea that offering unsolicited advice can make a sustainable difference in another person’s behavior—at least in most cases.

So, as much as you feel like telling your loved one or friend what they should do, try and figure out what you can do for yourself in your life that will make you even more healthy and happy. Each of us interacts with the world through the body we are in, and giving that body the tools it needs to thrive enables us to relate to the world in more positive and healthy ways. That is what the people in our lives will respond to most at the end of the day. When you think it’s about them, it’s about you.